Deborah Sickle Hill

Tag: self-care

  • You’re Fine China–Not a Crushed Solo Cup

    Gone Mental ©Deborah HIll

    You’re Fine China—Not a Crushed Solo Cup

    by: Deborah Hill LCSW (Ret.)

    Many people live with chronic mental health conditions—depression, anxiety, ADHD, PTSD, and more. These are real, brain-changing diagnoses that often require medication and therapy just to maintain a sense of “normal.” For some, the illness is severe enough that the old normal no longer applies. They’re left to build a new one from scratch.

    The same is true for those facing chronic or life-altering physical illness. They too must learn how to cope, adapt, and find a new way forward.

    I live with CPTSD, depression, and anxiety. Over the years—both personally and professionally—I’ve seen a pattern: we often see ourselves as broken pieces of china, trying desperately to glue the fragments back together. But at the same time, we treat ourselves like disposable red Solo cups—crushed under the weight of perceived failure, the loss of a “normal” life, self-blame, and anger toward ourselves, others, the universe, even God.

    It doesn’t have to be this way.

    We deserve better from ourselves. Healing is hard enough. Beating yourself up will only make it harder.

    If life has chipped or cracked your fine china, you have every right to grieve. You have every right to mend. But stop letting yourself—or others—treat you like a crushed plastic cup.

    Here are some ways to start reclaiming your worth:

    • Know your limitations—and respect them. Boundaries aren’t weakness; they’re wisdom.
    • Create a safe space. Whether physical or emotional, make a place where you’re untouchable.
    • Practice stress reduction. Listen to music. Meditate. Read. Walk in nature. Do what calms your nervous system.
    • Pay attention to your self-talk. Are you your own worst enemy? Are you constantly angry, hopeless, or stuck in shame?
    • Spend time with supportive people. Seek out those who lift you up, not tear you down.
    • Explore a spiritual practice. Remind yourself that you are more than this moment, this diagnosis, or this body. There is a bigger picture—and you are a meaningful part of it, even if you don’t fully see it yet.

    You are not broken.
    You are fine china—fragile, perhaps, but still beautiful. Still valuable. Still worth protecting.

  • Finding Happiness in an Uncertain World

    Deborah Hill LCSW (Ret.)

    Estimated reading time: 3–4 minutes

    The world right now feels unpredictable. We’re flooded daily with news—some real, some not—that stirs up anger, helplessness, depression, and anxiety. At the same time, life marches on. We celebrate birthdays, plan weddings, cherish family moments, and get promotions—while wars rage, politics divide, and personal struggles like job loss or divorce quietly unfold behind the scenes.

    It may seem counterintuitive, but finding happiness amid turmoil isn’t denial—it’s survival. It’s not forgetting what’s happening or pretending to be unaffected. It’s more like holding an umbrella in a storm or finding the strength to lift your hand above rising waters.

    Happiness, in times like these, becomes a quiet act of resistance. Here are 15 ways to cultivate it—even when the world feels heavy:

    1. Smile more. Find joy in simple moments and the people around you.
    2. Take breaks from the news and social media. Constant exposure fuels stress and fear.
    3. Stay connected. Nurture relationships and activities that uplift you.
    4. Give generously. Compliments, kindness, and small gestures go a long way.
    5. Acknowledge your feelings. Journal, move your body, or channel your emotions into purpose.
    6. Challenge negative self-talk. When your inner critic speaks up, reframe the message.
    7. Let go of hate. Hatred solves nothing—it only poisons the vessel that carries it.
    8. Stop living in the past. Release the “should haves” and “what ifs.”
    9. Immerse yourself in music. Let it lift, heal, or energize you.
    10. Nourish your spirit. Whatever your beliefs, cultivate a deep spiritual life.
    11. Don’t assume or judge. You can’t read minds, and you never know someone else’s story.
    12. Prioritize self-care. You can’t pour from an empty cup.
    13. Declutter your space. A clear environment helps create a clearer mind.
    14. Get good sleep. Rest isn’t a luxury—it’s a necessity.
    15. Step into nature. Even a brief walk can reset your soul.

    Life is complicated, but within the chaos, we can choose moments of peace, joy, and connection. The goal isn’t to ignore what’s hard—it’s to find the light that helps us move through it.