Whatever Happened to Baby Jane was an excellent 1962 psychological horror thriller starring Bette Davis and Joan Crawford. They were two very prominent, award-winning actors of their time. Both gained celebrity in their acting and later in the pop music of 1981. She’s got Bette Davis’ Eyes by Kim Carnes, and Joan Crawford has Risen from the Grave by Blue Öyster Cult. Why am I telling you this?
It was Saturday night, my birthday, and the extended family decided to take me to a smorgasbord called Shady Maple. It is noted to be the largest smorgasbord in the nation. As any respectable largest smorgasbord in the nation would be, it was crowded. Dining room after dining room of people smashed together at their seats and vying for food at the buffet.
That was when I saw her—the splitting image of Bette Davis in the role of Baby Jane. She looked about seventyish at least. Her hair was dry, tangled, and bleached out with pin curls cascading down the sides of her neck. Her makeup was white, with exaggerated red lips, dark lines around her eyes, and heavy mascara.
I tried not to stare, but I had to; there was really no option. I was staring at the very dead, Bette Davis—or more to the point—the madness of Baby Jane as she tortured and kept prisoner, her wheelchair-bound sister, played by Joan Crawford.
I told my mother, “You have to turn around, look at this woman, and tell me who you see.”
It was strategic, as suddenly turning around and facing this woman would look awkward. My 86-year-old mother, almost always up for a challenge, accomplished her goal. She turned around and said to me. “That’s Baby Jane.”
Why would anyone, on purpose, make themselves up like a mentally unstable movie character unless they were going to a Comic-con or some other fan convention?
Well, you can’t run up to someone and say, “You are the spitting image of a deranged woman in a movie. Did you plan it that way? If so, you pulled it off!”
We continued eating, I, my surf and turf, and my mother, her beets and chicken. Occasionally, I looked over to see how this woman acted. I love a good character study, but this character was already well-written and acted out. Still, I was obsessed.
I lost sight of her somewhere around getting garbanzo beans on my salad. Maybe it was a good thing. Did I mention that from the profile, her significant other looked a lot like Stephen King? Just slightly. Just enough to go, ah, I wonder.
I highly recommend seeing Whatever Happened to Baby Jane. If you don’t mind the crowd, I’d recommend the smorgasbord, too. Stay spooky, my friends.
Deborah Sickle Hill 