The Age of the Boomerang Family. When Adult Children Come Home.

 When Grown Kids Come Home Again
Estimated reading time: 6–7 minutes

What happens when your empty nest suddenly fills back up—with adult children, grandchildren, pets, and all the baggage (literal and emotional) they bring? This humorous and heartfelt post shares our family’s journey from semi-retirement dreams to boomerang reality, complete with ghosts, minivans, and lessons learned the hard way. If you’re navigating the new norm of multigenerational living, these 10 tips just might save your sanity.

Had I known ten years ago what I know now, I could have saved the cost of seven boxes of tissues and taken a trip around the world instead. It never occurred to me that my three wonderful kids would graduate high school, launch into the world, and then circle back to the parental nest.

I watched each child proudly—and a little sadly—march down the graduation aisle to “Pomp and Circumstance.” College, marriage, big dreams—duly blessed and applauded. I called it semi-retirement. It didn’t last.

Daughter #1 came home first, with two toddlers, a dog, and half of the marital assets after her husband went fishing in different waters. Our small house quickly overflowed with boxes, furniture, and baby gear.

“We have to move,” I told my husband.

“We raised three kids here. It’s just the two grandkids and Daughter #1. We’ll be fine,” he insisted. Apparently, the hallway squeeze and the blocked dining table didn’t register.

Two weeks later, the house was for sale. When the Realtor asked what we were looking for, the responses were—predictably—very different.

Me: Five bedrooms, two bathrooms, big kitchen, fenced yard, family room, porch, maybe a koi pond. Hubby: Three bedrooms, one bathroom is fine, small yard, no need for fancy extras.

The Realtor smiled. “I think I have just the place.”

“What are you thinking?” my husband hissed. “We’re not made of money.”

“I have a feeling the other two are coming back, too,” I replied.

He looked unconvinced. “No babies. No puppies. No more.”

Fast forward: We moved into a 110-year-old house with five bedrooms, three bathrooms, a first-floor master suite, a screened-in porch, a fish pond, a fireplace, and a ghost (who eventually left due to overcrowding).

We also upgraded to a minivan. Hubby protested: “This is my red Corvette era!”

“It’s a mutant Jeep,” I replied, taking the little red car to work.

Soon after, Daughter #2 moved back with two cats. Another broken marriage. She had no winter coat, no job, and no medical insurance. Daughter #1 decided to go to college, which we agreed was a good long-term move.

Then our son returned from Boston. His funding fell through and he had to leave Berklee. He came back with a drum set, guitars, keyboards, amps, furniture, and dreams deferred.

Seven people, three cats, two dogs, and a cast of extras: friends, dates, stray pets, and visiting students. It was beautiful chaos.

Along the way, we discovered some survival tips. Here are:

10 Tidbits to Curb the Insanity of Boomerang Families:

1. Update Your Relationship Status: They are adults now. That dynamic shift requires mutual respect and negotiation.
2. Rules: It’s still your house. Adjust outdated rules, but set clear expectations.
3. Logical Consequences: Make consequences fair, logical, and agreed upon. Contracts help.
4. Future Goals: Ensure they have direction—school, work, or saving for independence.
5. Money and Responsibility: Tailor rent based on income. Consider savings plans. Decide what’s an emergency. Use contracts for loans.
6. Boundaries: From food to bathroom schedules, set and communicate clear boundaries. Label food!
7. Grandkids & Pets: Clarify roles. Don’t parent the grandkids unless explicitly agreed upon. Support without overstepping.
8. Communicate, Don’t Argue: Choose dialogue over drama. Use central messaging. Humor helps.
9. Avoid Their Drama: Offer wisdom when asked, but resist solving their problems.
10. Take Care of You: Eat well, sleep, enjoy a life outside the home. Reconnect with your partner or a trusted friend.

Boomeranging is stressful but rewarding. You may rediscover deeper relationships and shared joy. And when it’s time, you can shout upstairs, “Hey adult-child, Ghost Hunters is on—I’m off duty!”

Enjoy the chaos. And be happy.